Django Unchained Was Djust Jdandy

I maybe saw the new movie Django Unchained three times last week.

Don't judge.

Especially if you haven't seen it yet.

It took me a while to warm up to Quentin Tarantino films, but after Inglorious Basterds I was hooked.

So why did I like this movie enough to spend almost 9 hours of my life watching it?
I'm glad you asked.

1. Clever writing, especially for Christoph Waltz
     His calm demeanor and straight-forward explanation of what is happening come across great.
     Seeing him as a hero in this one is a nice contrast to his villain role in Basterds.

2. Absurdly bloody gun violence
     Yes, Tarantino makes sure to include plenty of fake blood explosions, as expected.

3. Humorous moments
     You wouldn't think a raid by white supremacists could be a funny thing, but this one is.
     Django's choice of costume for being a valet is hilarious.

4. Tender moments
     Primarily between Christoph Waltz and Jamie Foxx, as their bounty-hunting friendship develops.

5. Great variety of music choices, including:
     - the 50's-TV-sounding theme song (Django, by Luis Bacalov)
     - an original song, that I can't understand but I still really like (Ancora Qui, by Elisa Toffoli)
     - classic oldies song (I Got a Name, by Jim Croce)
     - some sweet rap action by Rick Ross

     -etc, etc

6. On a serious note, I cringed at the brutally honest portrayal of slavery and how people could be treated as animals and property. But I appreciated that it was honest and didn't sugar coat such a terrible thing.
     Apparently Tarantino's taken some flak for being a white director and making this story about slavery.
     Well, Spike Lee, maybe you should have done it first. Quit complaining if you didn't have the balls.

7. Fantastic acting
     I'm particularly referring to Jamie Foxx, Christoph Waltz, Leo Decaprio, and Samuel L. Jackson.
     Each plays their part spectacularly, and I'm very glad Will Smith turned down the Django role.

Now, I must put a disclaimer on my review.

This movie is not for everyone.
It's not for people who can't handle violence.
It's not for people who are squeamish about how slaves were treated.
It's not for people who abhor swearing and can't stomach use of the n-word (which is used often, as would be historically accurate [right?]).
It's certainly not for children.

That being said, if you aren't in those groups, I'd recommend seeing Django Unchained.

And remember, "the D is silent, hillbilly."

Not My Unbirthday Weekend

Alice and the Mad Hatter can celebrate all the unbirthdays they want. I prefer when it's not my unbirthday.

Like this weekend.

Friday
I took the day off work, and that was a great idea. Might have to make it a yearly choice.

After sleeping in a little, I made an egg-whites and spinach quesadilla, went for a short run around Crystal City, and got a haircut so I'd look sharp for all the weekend fun. I felt like a new man.

For lunch, I met up with Emily and she treated me to American Tap Room in Bethesda. We sat in big, comfy chairs right by the fireplace. Our sandwiches were delicious. Even better, she was super nice and got me some gifts, including Swedish Fish (one of my kryptonites), manly body-spray deodorant, and personalized golf balls (which I'll do my best not to lose in two or three rounds on the golf course). So great!

Later that evening, I picked Emily up from DuPont Circle and we headed to the Kennedy Center for the Nutcracker.True confession time: I've struggled with staying awake in previous attempts at the Nutcracker, but this time I was able to get into the show and keep the eyelids open the whole time. Also, I think Emily's enthusiasm was contagious, so I couldn't help but be excited for whatever dance was next.

Saturday
My roommate Seth had a Groupon/LivingSocial for Skyline Paintball in Strasburg, VA, and he generously offered it for my birthday. We rounded up 16 of us, woke up early, and hit the road.

Due to the cold and our fear of massive welts, everyone was bundled up at the beginning.

The green team (aka Venom aka C.O.B.R.A.)

The pink team (aka Rainbow Brite aka My Little Pony aka they-didn't-tell-me-a-name)

There's just something about holding a gun of any type, caliber, shape, or size that makes you feel tough.

While we all may have started out a little timidly, after a few games our skills had vastly improved. Some excelled at being snipers, while others (I'm looking at you, Mike Merrell) could go on a mad-rush rampage and decimate an entire flank of defenses. Communication and team-work often proved to be the key, and results seemed to vary depending on the battlefield terrains. Not sure why, but maybe woods/towns just suited each team's personnel differently.

Such a great group, and I believe everyone had enough fun that we'll be returning to Skyline Paintball again soon. And this time, we'll actually know what we're doing. Watch out, because we're coming for ya!

You think that's enough fun for a Saturday on a birthday weekend? Perish the thought!

Since Marriott doesn't do a big corporate holiday party, I was very excited to be invited by Emily to join her for her work party. We got all dolled up (clearly, Emily looks way cuter than I do, which is expected), and headed up to Bethesda for an evening of dining, dancing, and raffling.

She is rocking that LBD

The only semi-sad part was that karaoke didn't happen. I think the organizers realized that the space wasn't the best for it, or that they might have too many people interested and it would detract from the popularity of the dance floor (which admittedly is more classy and inclusive for all). There will be other nights for karaoke. This one was plenty fun with all the socializing and dancing we did.

Remember how I mentioned raffling? All of the company employees that had RSVP'ed for the party were entered to win prizes throughout the night. Lo and behold, as we were chatting with Emily's coworker and coworker's parents, we heard Emily's name get called out by the emcee. She was so excited and ran up to claim her award with her arms high in the air. $200 for Lululemon. Not too shabby, eh?

What a wonderful birthday weekend it was. I'm so glad it wasn't my unbirthday!

How to Hand-make Cardboard Tommy Guns

I am not the necessarily the crafty type. At least not as much as I'd like to be.

But once in a while, my mom's craft-making skills shine through, and I get the urge.

With Halloween approaching, I was trying to decide what to be. In my closet, I re-discovered a fedora hat and an old-ish pair of pants with suspenders. The idea of being a 1930's mobster started looking pretty good. But I would need a tommy gun to complete the costume.

So I set to work, and I ended up with this.

All you need are:

• large cardboard box
• duct tape or glue
• pencil or pen
• box cutter

Here's how I went about making my own cardboard tommy guns.

1. Found a stencil online. I don't think I used this exact one,
but they're all pretty much the same.

2. Sketched the stencil on cardboard. Didn't worry about being too precise.
It's just cardboard, after all.

3. Cut out the stencil. Try not to waste too much extra cardboard above/below,
because that will allow for more cut-outs per box or sheet of cardboard.

4. Wrote on one so I'd know it was the original ("OG" = original gangster).
Stencil and re-do until you've got 10 copies.

5. Either glue or use duct tape to secure 5 of your stencils together.
6. Optional: spray paint this whole piece black or silver,
maybe using brown for the handles and stock. 

7. Find a large circle to stencil for the drum (round bullet clip).

8. Cut out ten of the circles.

9. Make a notch in the circles that fits snugly around the gun frame assembled in Step #5.

10. Tape or glue 5 circles together with the notches matching up.

Now you've got your gun frames and bullet drums, and the final step is...

11. Tape or glue the drums to the frame, and you're all done!

Voilá! A cardboard tommy gun, and the perfect accessory for that 1930's costume.

P.S. I'm kind of embarrassed to ask, but is this post worthy of Pinterest?

The Happiest Homicide Song [Foster the People]

If you know me, then you know I love music.
I listen to it all the time.

Frequently, words and phrases in everyday conversations trigger song lyrics in my brain, which then gets the tune stick in my head and foot a-tapping to the beat.

Do you ever notice when a song's music doesn't quite seem to fit with its lyrics?
Not in terms of rhythm; I mean in its message.

One of the current hits is "Pumped Up Kicks" by Foster the People.

I'm hooked on the song, just like a lot of people are. Such a happy tune. Kind of beachy-nostalgic style, and the lead and back-up voices match well.

But have you noticed the lyrics? Really listened to them?

In case you didn't quite catch them, here's the first verse plus the chorus:

"Robert's got a quick hand.

He'll look around the room, he won't tell you his plan.

He's got a rolled cigarette, hanging out his mouth he's a cowboy kid.

Yeah, he found a six shooter gun.

In his dad's closet hidden with a box of fun things, and I don't even know what.

But he's coming for you, yeah he's coming for you.

All the other kids with the pumped up kicks you'd better run, better run, outrun my gun.

All the other kids with the pumped up kicks you'd better run, better run, faster than my bullet."

Yes, this song is about a kid planning to take his dad's gun and shoot his classmates.

Pretty dark stuff for such a chipper, upbeat tune. That's why I was so surprised when I realized what the lyrics were saying.

Do you know of any other songs that have lyrics that don't match the music style?

The Most Amazing Shoes You've Ever Seen [Gun Hoofs]

Not since the Air Jordan 1's have I seen amazing shoes like the ones I saw today. Full credit goes to my friend Sarah B for bringing these to my attention [her tumblr is fantastic].

Do you ever need to climb a mountainside and then shoot a wild animal?
Then these are the shoes for you (and for Bear Grylls, too)!

They are called Gun Hoofs, and they're made by Iris Schieferstein. Amazing, aren't they?

Not satisfied with a goat hoof and golden pistols? Try on some snake heels with black pistols.

I really hope Sarah B gets a pair, because I'd love to see them in real life.

I Don't Play Video Games Anymore, But...

Getting something like this in my inbox really make me consider starting up again.

Seriously, this ad for Call of Duty: Black Ops: Rezurrection makes me want to call some friends up and join forces in using Gatling guns, flamethrowers, and RPG launchers to mow down hordes of zombies all night and into the wee morning hours.

I have no idea how they got my email, but I don't mind getting sweet, adrenaline-pumping action like this.

Kind of like how I briefly consider seeing movies along the "Killer Elite" vein, even though I already know it's just a bunch of unrealistic fight scenes, car chases, and explosions with a loose plot to string them together. Just based on the name, I'd almost go see it. "Killer Elite?" Yes, please! (Check out the trailer [here] if you need a little convincing and don't have any limiting heart-health issues.)

Oh marketers, you know me too well.

PS If anyone is up for Mario Kart, Goldeneye: 007, Super Tecmo Bowl, Tetris, or Duck Hunt, count me in anytime. Those babies just keep getting better with age. Guitar Hero and Rock Band work, too.

PPS While I've never had the urge to play World of Warcraft, I am greatly tempted by the upcoming release of Star Wars: The Old Republic. (Game trailer [here].)

War Games: A Birthday Story

This weekend a group of us went down to Richmond to celebrate my friend Angela's birthday. Most of us got in late on Friday night, so we all chatted for a bit, ate Angela's first birthday cake (Virginia-shaped, even), and then went to bed.

And on Saturday the real fun began. Of course, it started with a birthday cake/orange roll pull-apart baked by Russ and Cara.

Very tasty!

Chippenham Hospital

This is where Angela was born, and she hadn't been back in the 26 years since.

After trying to make it in time for lunch in the cafeteria (sadly, we were too late), we grabbed some ice cream out of the vending machine, played with the face masks, and headed to the nursery to see her first ever tanning salon -- yay for jaundice -- and bedroom.

Dang, we make masks look good.

Be careful. The birthday fun is communicable.

Angela recalling her first moments here on earth.

Carnies

Just down the street, a street carnival was in action, so we couldn't pass up that opportunity. We took a leisurely ride on the ferris wheel, almost puked from the g-forces on another ride, and did our best not to focus on the "small hands, smell like cabbage" folk soliciting our money on rigged games.

Matt getting hornswoggled (after I got bamboozled by the same fellow)

Riding the ferris wheel!

Ready to take out some aggression

Angela and Matt attacking each other with their prizes

These would come in handy later. Keep reading to see how.

Picasso? Sorry, No

The VMFA was in its final days of hosting the traveling Picasso exhibit, so we wanted to go check it out. To our chagrin, the exhibit was 100% sold out -- even with extended-til-midnight hours). Since we were there, we got our culture on by checking out the American art, including the original "Outlaw" cowboy statue by Remington (buy a copy here).

Carytown

Richmond has a cool little street that sorta reminds me of Old Town Alexandria, VA and/or Park City, UT. It's called Carytown and is appropriately on Cary Street. There are lots of trendy clothing and food spots all along the "mile of style". First, Matt took us to For the Love of Chocolate, which maybe wasn't the smartest on empty stomachs (for our wallets, at least).

For real food, we continued down the street to Carytown Burgers and Fries where we got our much-needed grub on. Then we made a quick stop at CVS for some supplies and hula-hooping competitions. Cara was dominant. She made it look effortless.

Shakira would be proud of Cara's hip action.

War Games

Due to copious quantities of rain and a power outage at Matt's house, our plans for a bonfire and watching a movie were nixed. But never fear; when we stopped by Target for the ladies to get matching pajama pants, the fellas prepared for war by snagging a whole bunch of $5 Nerf assault rifles and plenty of batteries. We played three different games:

1. Hold the fort: Two teams. One team tries to invade and take out the other team. There was some great innovation with this game: use of mattresses as shields, going around the house outside for a sneak attack through the side door, etc.
2. Zombie invasion: Not sure why we called it this, maybe just because it's catchy. One person starts and all others hide. When you're found and shot, you join the zombie crew. Quick game, but fun trying to hide and/or run from the zombies before being shot, then joining the zombie in hunting.
3. Predator: By far my favorite. One person (the predator) is downstairs with a soft plastic club--acquired at the carnival earlier in the day. All others are upstairs, and are sent down individually at one minute intervals with only 2 bullets. Predator tries to club you; you try to shoot predator. Loved feeling like you're being hunted and trying to be ready for an attack at any moment, then the rush in the midst of the assault.

Don't mess with this rowdy crowd

Exhausted from the excitement of battling and hunting and clubbing and shooting, we had some home-mixed shakes and hunkered down to watch Matt's favorite movie on a laptop (still no power) and then catch some zzz's.

On Sunday morning, we woke up, got ready, and ate some delicious crepes and waffles for breakfast--thanks to Angela, her cousin, and her parents.

Finally, we finished the weekend off with one last "cake" (see below; it was a buttercake, get it?) for Angela. Apparently there's some inside joke about this, but she was so happy about it that I got a kick out of it, too.

Then she opened some presents we'd bought for her at the VMFA and some of her own stuff that we'd found and wrapped up.

Thanks for such a fun weekend, Angela! We're glad you were born!

Merry Christmas, One and All

I love Christmas with my family. We have so much fun together and we end up smiling and laughing through the entire day. This year we were lucky enough to have Adam and Linds (plus the kiddos, of course) and Nana Bets in town, so it was a packed house and that made for even more good times. Summer loved here teddy bear.Of course, Gunner is always a hoot to watch when he's opening presents. He's plenty old enough to understand what's going on and he's used to being the center of attention, so he hams it up a little bit, but his joy is genuine on most of his gifts. Also, I kinda love when he gets a gift that he doesn't know what to do with or isn't extremely excited about, because he has no poker face and his confusion/displeasure is readily apparent. Clearly, he's happy about the PS3.Dave is in the middle of making a career change from engineering to medicine, so his gifts this year were mostly geared in that direction. All kinds of goodies that I can't pronounce and he'll be putting to use soon as he tests the healing waters.Dad is a gamer. He loves bringing us together to play, and he's usually pretty dominant (especially in Trivial Pursuit and games along those lines). Now he's got another game that we can (and did) all play together and have fun as a family. Gotta love the Wii.Pete and Jordyn arrived a little late, as they'd started their day down at Jordyn's parents' house, but they wasted no time catching up. I think this is right after they opened their bookmarks from Gunner (which we all loved, due to their personalized embroidery and pictures). Aren't they a cute couple!Zoey and Grammy were also having a good time with opening presents, though I suspect that Grammy would have been completely satisfied to have the babies being born earlier this year as her Christmas present. Come to think of it, I think all of us would accept that and ask for nothing more. Welcome to the family, girls, and I hope you enjoyed your first Christmas!Zoey (pictured here) and Summer only have one Aunt, and they adore Megan. She holds them and cuddles with them and they're absolutely tickled pink with all of it. Here we see the gals laughing in the mirror and being fascinated with how utterly cute they are together.Linds has always had style, and I think we all envy that. I mean, who else in our family could pull off the Ali G sunglasses as she shows here. Note: if I mysteriously vanish in the next little bit, it's probably because Linds killed me for posting this pic. hahaha Totally kidding, just FYI.Maybe one of the more popular gifts received by anyone this Christmas was Gunner's pack of NERF guns. Everybody played with them, and there were battles raging all day. Who said that NERF guns were just for kids? Or maybe all of us are just Toys R Us kids and don't want to grow up...Here is the bookmark that Gunner gave me, and it's a great gift. Linds and Adam may have helped a little bit, but Gunner picked the items to be put on the bookmark and even did some of the stitching, if I'm not mistaken. The birthday cake on mine is because my birthday is in December. So great!Can't wait until next December for more holiday hijinks and spending the day opening presents and playing with my family. Who knows what wonderful gifts will be made and given to loved ones.

PS If you didn't notice, there are no pictures of Adam in this post. That's because he was behind a video camera all day, capturing the precious moments live. Such a good dad and it warms my heart to see him joining me in documenting our family history and especially getting his little ones on film so they'll be able to look back on it in the future.