Blind Cafe: An Eye-Opening Experience

A few weekends ago, we had a new and enlightening experience.

Dinner at the Blind Cafe, a traveling event, wherein you eat a meal completely in the dark.

It was an illuminating evening, and our discussion of the event afterwards was great.

We talked about how we learned to create a mental map of our surroundings, especially where our food items were. We enjoyed having a greater degree of anonymity in the room, and how visual cues didn't obligate one to answer questions (particularly when the other people at the table can't remember your name, in order to address you directly) or participate at all, if you didn't want to.

To check for upcoming event dates near you, check the pop-up locations on their webpage and consider signing up for the mailing list. If you've got an open mind, you'll love having dinner at the Blind Cafe.

More Like a Fail Mary... or ISO Train Companion

A few people have asked me (offline) what ever happened with my hail mary attempt.

So here's the answer:

Nothing.

I knew it was a long shot, so my expectations of success were low (though I still hoped).

Well, the pass wasn't a touchdown.
Actually, I can't be sure it was ever even received, since I didn't hear anything at all.

But such is life.

While I was thinking of her in Justin Timberlake lines:

I don't wanna lose you now

I'm lookin' right at the other half of me...

And I'll tell you baby, it was easy

Comin' back into you one I figured it out

You were right there all along

She was thinking of me in Taylor Swift lines:

We are never ever ever getting back together

We are never ever ever getting back together

You go talk to your friends talk

To my friends talk to me

But we are never ever ever ever getting back together

And it was a hail mary, which rarely work out in either football or dating.
So I'm not too surprised.

To quote President Gordon B. Hinckley, 15th President of the LDS Church:

Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he’s been robbed. The fact is that most putts don’t drop, most beef is tough, most children grow up to just be people, most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration, most jobs are more often dull than otherwise. Life is like an old time rail journey…delays…sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling burst of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride.

The hail mary didn't pan out, but life goes on.
And I'm still looking for my train companion, because it's going to be a fantastic voyage when I find her.

So there's no need to feel bad for me, or worry about me, or any such thing.
I've grieved for the end of a relationship, as is painful but healthy, and life has now begun anew.

You know, I've never actually taken a cross-country train ride. Anyone want to join me?
I also accept referrals (maybe not in comments, please send me an email)...

"Life is Like a Mop"

Inspirational speeches come from all sorts of places.
I watch a fair amount of movies, so that's one of my primary sources.

For example, the blue-faced Braveheart rallying cry (link).
Or the Herb Brooks "beat the Russians" peptalk from Miracle (link).

But right now, I'm really taking to heart this motivational speech from a favorite childhood movie, UHF.

Because even though I may feel like my life is "full of dirt and crud and bugs and hairballs and stuff", it can be rinsed off and I can start all over again.

Side note: Awesome that "Battle Hymn of the Republic" is playing at the climax of his speech. I'd never verified it before, but the version used in the movie just so happens to be sung by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir (source) with the Philadelphia Orchestra. Pretty cool, huh?

And so, friends and random readers, consider this my virtual standing up, going to the window, and yelling, "These floors are dirty as hell, and I'm not gonna take it anymore!"

Anybody got a spare toothbrush?

End of One Road, Beginning of Another

Looks like both cases from my 'Accepting What You Can't Change' post are decided.

#2 wasn't really in doubt. I don't anticipate him seeking reconciliation, as that'd require him admitting fault.

But today I was informed that #1 will not happen either. No reconciliation to be had in the future.

Which means I'll be eating the rest of these Raspberry-flavored Milanos tonight, since I don't feel like going to buy a gallon of ice cream:

I hate knowing that we'll no longer be in each other's lives, but having finality is a good thing as it allows for leaving it to God and moving on.

"What the future holds, I don't know
Gotta stand up, dust myself off,
Just for now, it's the end of the road."

Here's to new beginnings on a new road.

Accepting What You Can't Change

I've had a couple big relationship things weighing heavily on my mind lately.

Not high profile to most people, even in my inner circle, but the situations are hard on me nonetheless.

The two cases have to do with apologies and the giving and receiving of forgiveness.

Case #1- I've apologized and I'm waiting to see what she decides to do. I was in the wrong, so she'll be fully justified in deciding to accept my apology or not. I'll understand either choice.

Case #2- I've apologized and tried repeatedly to mend our friendship, and it looks more and more like the person will not reciprocate apologies and allow us to continue as friends. He's shown to be stubborn and vindictive and bully-ish, so I can't see reconciliation happening.

So when a friend posted the link to this ThoughtCatalog article, it was a godsend to me:

"How to Accept What You Can't Change" by Brianna Weist

Its lessons - particularly #7 - support what I recently read in a book about apologies and forgiveness:

If your first attempt [at apologies/reconciliation] fails, I suggest you make a second and third attempt. An apology says, "I value this relationship, and I want to deal with this problem." The refusal to apologize says, "I do not value this relationship, and it's okay with me if we continue to be estranged." We cannot force an apology but we can extend the olive branch and express our willingness to forgive. If, in the final analysis, they are unwilling to restore the relationship, you may then release them to God and release your hurt and anger to Him. Don't allow their unwillingness to deal with the problem destroy your life. It takes two people to build a positive, healthy relationship.*

Once we've done our best to seek forgiveness, the ball is in the other person's hands.

In case #1, she can choose to accept my apology and forgive (maybe she already has), with or without the option of reconciliation. She would be justified either way. At this point, I can release my pain and hurt to God. Of course, my preference would be reconciliation between the two of us.

In case #2, I've done all I can do, and as I don't see any forgiveness occurring, I can release the relationship to God and move on. Sometimes friendships end. I suppose all relationships have a lifecycle, even ones that began half a lifetime ago in high school.

So now I can just allow things to happen as they may (for these cases) and accept what I can't change.

*Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married, by Gary Chapman, pp 71-72. I highly recommend this whole book to anyone wanting healthier relationships, both before and after marriage. Lots of it can also be applied to improve friendships.

Happy Valentines Day, All You Lovable People!

And "lovable people" includes every single person who reads (and doesn't read) this post.

I hope we don't take the people we love for granted the other 364 days of the year, but this (kinda like Christmas) is a good reminder for each of us of something we should constantly be aware of.

So let's all show extra kindness and love to those we cherish and value so much, but maybe don't tell as often as we should.

Give a kind word.
Give a long-overdue shout-out.
Give a bouquet of flowers.
Give a box of chocolates.*
Give a hug.
Give a kiss.
Give of yourself.

Because that's what life is about.

And it'd be a shame to wait one more day to let these people know they're one of the best things to happen in your life.

Spread the love!
Happy Valentines!

*Or celery or green peppers or carrots or whatever the person likes.

16 Ways To Blow a Marriage

I've never been married.

So I can't speak from experience on how to keep a marriage intact.

Yet I can see the wisdom (and honest humor) in this guy's blogpost, which he gained through the sad experience of several failed marriages.

After you read his tips, please come back and add any additional thoughts you have in the comments.

CLICK HERE TO READ "16 Ways I Blew My Marriage".

PS The "bonuses" on some of the tips are pretty funny.

What did you think? Anything else you'd add, married or long-dating friends?

Sometimes You've Just Gotta Dance

Does anyone else feel like sometimes you've just gotta dance?

(Yes, I know I'm not fitting Dane Cook's comedy sketch, although I'd of course prefer dancing with a girl over going solo.)

A classical* song can induce visions of expertly executed ballroom dancing.

Including from some of the best Disney movies.

Powerful emotions can be displayed through soulful contemporary (1, 2), modern, or hip-hop dances.

Unlikely dance style combinations can captivate viewers.

Or a super-happy-fun song can just make you want to dance in the car or bounce wherever you are.

Now who feels like going out and dancing with me?

*Either actually written during the classical period or modern in a classic style, I like them both.

Fruit Picking and a Peach Brunch

We should probably all eat more fruit than we currently do, right?
Well buying it from the grocery store is good, but picking your own from the bush or tree is even better.

Emily and I headed up to Larriland Farm for a little fruit picking, and then we met up with Seth and Becky at Homestead Farm to finish our picking with a bunch of peaches.

I'm glad this one picked me

Meet giganto-berry

You say tomato; I say tomatoe

Hard to decide which one is sweeter

Looking for the best ones

Yes, I'll gladly wheel this one to my car

"In open fields of wild flowers..."

And what is the point of picking a bunch of delicious fruits, if you can't eat them while conversing with a bunch of friends? For that reason, we invited some friends over for a Sunday peach brunch.

Peach muffins

Peach french toast

After all the picking fun and subsequent delicious eating, I just have one question:

When can we go again?!

Walking on Sunshine

I had an excellent Monday night.

Even if you have no idea what I'm talking about, I hope you're happy for me right now.

Unprepared for a Great Love

Why is it that we often don't understand what we had, and how great it was, until it's too late?

Not that we always do that. But sometimes we do. And sometimes it's painful to realize that what we didn't properly value at the time could have been a life-changer.

While this can be the case with job opportunities, stock investments, travel choices, and many others, I think we see it most clearly in matters of the heart, don't we?

I had a great opportunity with a woman that I like-liked, and I blew it.

Just that simple.

It was right in front of me, and, for a myriad of reasons, I wasn't prepared for what may have been the most important choices and love of my life.

That sucks to recognize, when it now may be too late.

A part of me still hopes there is a chance at reconciliation and a return to us, as I now feel prepared to love fully and make the sacrifices and changes necessary to be the man she wants and deserves.

If that isn't enough, then so be it.

I am and will be ready.

My next chance, I don't want to be caught unprepared for a great love.

Metallica Monday: Unforgiven

Just a short one, because I'm not really in the mood to blog.

It's been a rough couple days, as a relationship came to a sad end and will not be revived as I'd hoped it might be. Guess that's just how it goes sometimes. And nothing against her, because I was the one who blew it by not being prepared when we had our chance.

So here's today's Metallica Monday choice, from the classic black album:

Unforgiven

Later.

A Night of Artomatic Fun

My friends have a wide variety of talents. Last night, I saw one of my friends perform a few bellydancing routines at the Artomatic 2012 show in Crystal City, VA.

She did a great job, and I was impressed at the body control, as I know I could never get my hips and upper body to move the way she and her fellow dancers did. Way to go, Alice!

After rocking her group routine

The gang there to support

Going solo

After the performance, we all looked around at the various art exhibits, which ranged from sculptures to murals to small paintings and photography. There were even Lego creations and the famous Washington Post Peep-o-ramas to check out.

Nyan cat made from Legos

That is one large Peep!

We spent about 2 hours walking around and only saw 3 of the 10 floors. I'm thinking I'll have to go back another time or two to check out a couple more floors. Very interesting stuff!

Makes me want to get artsy and create something...

Everybody Loves a Good Meet-Cute

Don't know what I'm talking about?

You must not remember this scene from The Holiday, starring Cameron Diaz, Jude Law, Kate Winslett, and Jack Black:
(you have to click the play button, as I disabled the auto-play because it was getting really annoying)

Outside of the usual ways of meeting members of the opposite sex (high school, college classes; at friends' birthday parties; church), I've had a couple pretty good meet-cutes.

Here are two that I feel are noteworthy:

1) Training Day
A Saturday afternoon on the DC metro. I was in the Rosslyn station, heading home from lunch with friends. Overheard 3 girls talking about where they wanted to go, and then noticed they were about to get on the wrong train (orange line), which would have taken them far from their intended destination.

I informed them of the mistake they were about to make and said they could join me on the blue line since I was also heading to Pentagon City, too. Just before we parted ways in the mall (them to shopping, me to my home a block away), I got her number.

2) Karaoke Connection
For a roommate's birthday, he decided to do karaoke in the Hoth-like basement room of a restaurant/bar. There was no employee to do it, so I took charge and was operating the karaoke machine. Pretty soon everyone thought that was my job and that I actually worked there. If you wanted to sing a song, they'd say to ask "the boy in the green hat" (me).

Another group celebrating a birthday started to join in the singing. One very outgoing girl in their group introduced me to her friend, who I'd mentioned I thought was cute, and conversation came easily. We all went across the street for some food after leaving karaoke, and then I gave her a ride home at the end of the night, since she lived near my place. I got her number just before saying goodnight.

How about you? Have any good meet-cute stories to share?

Metallica Monday: St Anger

According to the Kübler-Ross model, there are 5 stages of grief following a loss:

1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

They don't have to be chronological, and some stages may be quicker or less pronounced than others.

Last week I went through a couple of these, including the second phase of anger. Not at any individual, because that wasn't warranted in this case, but just at the general situations of life and how sometimes I'd rather not have to go through them, even when/if they're necessary.

In honor of the anger stage, today I've picked the following song from Metallica's catalog:

St Anger

Warning: contains strong language

For those times when you just want to rage and be angry for a bit, Metallica has your medicine.

How to Get Married (for Guys and Girls): The Flowchart

Flowcharts are simple.

Dating can be complicated.

Mix flowcharts and dating, and the latter seems less complicated.

I don't know who Nancy Brown and Brandon Walton are, but this is awesome

I know dating and getting married aren't this easy, but wouldn't it be nice if they were?!

Guess at some point I'll have to go ask a girl out and get the process started again, eh?

Cherry Blossoms on the First Day of Spring

Ah, the first day of spring, and it was a beautiful one in the nation's capital.

Couldn't miss the opportunity to get down to DC's Tidal Basin and take some pictures with the new camera.

It's the 100-year anniversary of when Japan gave the U.S. the cherry blossom trees as a gift.

I really like these next two, with their alternating focal distances. Yay for the D-SLR!

I feel like this should be a Kennedy Center advertisement

With so many blossoms having fallen, we were able to gather up handfuls for Emily to do this:

Doesn't that look like fun?!

That weekend it rained a bunch, so I don't know how many blossoms remained afterwards.

Hopefully you were able to see them in person, or maybe next year!