Such a Clever Futbol vs Football Commercial

I'm a sports fan, and I grew up playing just about every sport available in the US.

Which is how I came to appreciate both futbol and football, because I have played and watched both.
A lot.
Probably more than I should admit, really.

And that's also why I got such a kick (pun semi-intentional) out of this NBC Sports commercial:

"We're gonna beat the Cowboys, and the Cowboys, and Jennifer Lawrence."
"How many countries are in this country?" "Four."

Genius.

The Watermelon Football Slashing of 2013

Last night I went to a pool party that my friend Afton hosted at her apartment complex.

Lots of cool people came, and we started playing watermelon football in the pool.
If you haven't played it ever, you need to try it next time you have the opportunity.

So fun.

If you've never played, here's an example I found on YouTube:

At one point, I was on the receiving end of a pass and was being covered by a girl named Ingrid.
She was out of position, and she went for grabbing my shoulders instead of playing the ball (an understandable move, and I'd have done the same thing).

Let's just say that she didn't get a firm grip on my shoulders, and her hands subsequently slipped down my back, with her fingernails leaving me some souvenirs to remember the game later.

She felt bad about her handiwork, but was a good sport for the pic

Yeah, I'm gonna be feeling those trophies for a few days until they heal up.

PS If you want to eat watermelon after the game, buy a second watermelon. The first will definitely explode in the heat of battle.

Current Commercial Successes

Recovering from reconstructive surgery on a torn Achilles means you have a lot of time to watch TV.

Most commercials are an annoyance.
But some aren't so bad, or can even be entertaining.

Here are three that I kinda like right now.

1) NFL: Player safety with Tom Brady & Ray Lewis

2) Temptations: Cat food

and my current favorite:

3) Nissan Altima: Tire-fill alert system

Any others that you've gotten a major kick out of lately?

My High School Track is on ESPN!

Oh yeah, and there is a football game going on inside it, too.

Go Cottonwood Colts!

Flashback Friday: Joe Montana and Jerry Rice

With this being the first week of the college football season, and the NFL regular season starting next week, I feel it appropriate to do a Friday Flashback dealing with football.

Football was a pretty big part of my childhood.

No, I didn't play organized leagues (my mom said I was too little, and she didn't want me to get broken; looking at my kiddo pictures, I think she was right), but my dad taught us the rules, took us to BYU and UofU games, and many Sundays were spent watching football after church.

My childhood front yard, aka my first football field

We played family football games in the front yard, where the walkway to the front door was a perfect 50-yard line and the distance felt like 100 yards on our stubby, little kid legs.

My dad was a San Francisco 49ers fan, so my brothers and I were 49ers fans.
And the stars of that time were none other than Joe Montana and Jerry Rice.

Ready to get down to the business of winning Super Bowls

When we played in the yard, it was always Joe Montana at quarterback and Jerry Rice at wide receiver.

I remember being so sad when Joe left for Kansas City (why, Joe? why?!) and later when Jerry headed across the SF Bay to the evil Raiders. Grr.

But at least between those two betrayals there was a period of Steve Young and Jerry Rice.

Just look how happy they are together!

Most football fans have a 'golden age' in their fandom, right? These years were definitely mine.

Thanks for the memories, Joe, Jerry, and Steve!

Flashback Friday: Tysman Rap & Mormon Rap

Since this is the first week of my Flashback Friday series, I figured I'd throw in a bonus post.

I grew up in Utah, and my parents are both BYU alumni.
My dad took us to BYU football games, and we loved seeing the "QBU" passing attack shred opponents.

Though I was pretty young, I still remember watching Ty Detmer pass his way to the Heisman.

My dad followed that year with the same fanaticism that the BYU faithful followed Jimmer Fredette's senior season. All the publicity and staggering statistics made for lots of excitement.

As a natural result, my dad's football-loving sons were all about Ty and how great he was.

Ty Detmer, BYU's Heisman winner

And when it was clear that Ty Detmer was leading the Cougars to a special accomplishment, some guy seized the moment and wrote one of the worst raps in history. Which I loved back then, by the way.

The Tysman Rap.

Yes, it's pretty bad in retrospect. But at the time, I thought it was the bee's knees.

A couple years later, I guess some other guys figured white people (other than the Beastie Boys, of course) deserved another chance at rapping about something totally not-rappable.

The Mormon Rap.

It's so bad that it's good. Also, many of the references are still surprisingly relevant.

That's kinda scary if you think about it.

I hope we (meaning BYU and Mormons) learned our lesson and don't try any more rapping like this.

Or perhaps there actually are some decent raps by/about these topics now.

Nah, I doubt it, and it's not worth the time or effort to research.

The Super Bowl Snack Stadium

Yesterday was a great game.

Though I was cheering for the Patriots, I appreciate an exciting game and give props to the Giants and Eli Manning for pulling out the W. They deserve to celebrate.

My friend Staci hosted a Super Bowl party, and she made sure the food didn't disappoint.
But her display of the food was right on par with the quality of said vittles.

Behold the Super Bowl Snack Stadium in all its glory!

Let's just say our tummies were fat and happy by the end of the game.

And did you notice that the goal posts are made out of Slim Jims? Nice touch.

How did you celebrate watching the big game (and/or commercials)?

Mark Asper: Oregon Duck, Hero, Eagle Scout, Husband, Father, and...

Mormon.

Of course.

When I read the story this morning on Yahoo News about how an Oregon offensive lineman had saved a choking man's life, and credited his Scout masters and Eagle Scout training, I started to wonder.

When the story then mentioned he was the oldest guy on the team, and that he was married with two kids (both daughters, how cute!), alarms started going off in my head.

So I figured I'd check his Oregon player profile to see if I could get any more info. [Stalker-ish of me?]

When his profile included these tidbits, I determined he's likely a member of the LDS Church:

• Attended Bonneville High in Idaho Falls, ID. Not a slam dunk, but there are lots of Mo's in ID.
• Majoring in Spanish. That could mean a lot of things, until you factor in the next point.
• Redshirted the 2007 season "after being away from the game for a two-year religious mission commitment."

Bingo.

Lots of churches do mission trips, which is excellent and I wish more people had/took the opportunity to serve those in need around the world, including in the U.S., but the two-year part is usually a pretty straight-forward LDS giveaway.

So while I don't really have a horse in the Rose Bowl, I'll be cheering for Oregon's #79.

Not just because he's Mormon (as there are probably some LDS guys on the Wisconsin side, too), but because he's a great guy and a life-saving hero.

Amazing Fake Punt

How did I miss this old NFL highlight? It's from 2009, but I just saw it today.

Blew. My. Mind.

Have a look.

Isn't that amazing?
So many great things about it.

Here are a few that come to mind:

1. The punter gets a moment of glory and even scores a touchdown. Generally, punters only get noticed for muffing kicks and getting blocked. Or for botching fake punt attempts due to clumsiness.
2. Those uniforms. Classic. Wish they'd go back to them.
3. Inventive and daring. Who comes up with this?!? A guy going in motion, then sweeping around the back? If that defender hits the punter, this could easily be a touchdown the other way. Makes it even more impressive due to the risk.
4. Ball-handling skills. Not until the close-up view at the 2:00 mark could I even tell what the punter did with the ball. Great job of putting it behind his back at the last second and not dropping it.

Ah, how I love trick plays in football.

And even more when they actually work.

Say It Ain't So! [Joe Frazier, Joe Paterno, Lindsay Lohan, Notre Dame Football, Duggar Family]

Lots of craziness lately, so I figured I'd stuff them all into one post and just keep each short and sweet.

RIP Joe Frazier

His professional boxing career began right after he won the USA's only gold boxing medal in the 1964 Olympics. He dominated most matches, eventually becoming the official world heavyweight champion in 1970. Perhaps his most famous bout was against Muhammad Ali (pictured above), which he won to retain his title. Frazier lost his 29-0 win streak and the championship belt to George Foreman in 1973. He had a couple comeback attempts, most famously the "Thrilla in Manila" against Ali, but Frazier never regained his former glory or the title. Diagnosed with liver cancer in September of this year, he passed away on November 7th. RIP, Smokin' Joe.

RIP Joe Paterno's Coaching Career

Due his assistant coach being charged in an alleged child sex scandal, the legendary coach of the Penn State football program was fired effective immediately. He holds the record for most wins by a collegiate coach (409), but his failure to report knowledge of the sex scandal to legal authorities appears to have been deemed by the Penn State Board of Trustees as too large too overlook. While I loved him as an icon and coach, I have to agree with them. Farewell, JoePa, and best of luck in retirement.

Lindsay Lohan Continues Streak of Terrible Decisions

It's official. Her career is in freefall. The latest is that she's posing fully nude for Playboy. After her theft of a necklace from a jewelry store, she now has to work at county morgue for 12 days, and is required to attend 18 psychotherapy sessions along with her 53 days of community service [source]. Though unlikely, I hope even the paparazzi will start to pity her and leave her to fight her demons in peace.

Notre Dame Football Fashion Faux Pas

The Notre Dame football program has a proud heritage of excellence. They inspired the movie Rudy, for goodness' sake! When they already have great helmets/logos (solid gold helmets, the interlocking "N" and "D", and the boxing Irishman), it's just lame to use these shamrock helmets [source]. They must be hoping their next opponent's uglier helmets (poor Maryland) will be more distracting than theirs.

Duggar Family Resumes Energizer Bunny Impersonation

They just keep going and going and going and going. 20 kids? Really?!? I'm just flabbergasted by these guys. These guys aren't LDS/Mormon, just in case you were curious (I clearly was). They're conservative Baptists. I've never watched their show, but I've got to imagine it's a madhouse. Are any of you, my friends and readers, from a large family? Maybe 10+ kids? I'd love to hear your thoughts on the Duggars.

The State of Deseret's Holy War

Tomorrow is the BYU vs UofU football game, aka the Holy War. 

I've loved college football games ever since I was a little kid and my dad would take us. We'd bring our own little footballs and throw them around before the game, and we'd get hot dogs and hot chocolate and probably some candy, too. Dad would tell us about the game and point out what was happening. Eventually we learned the rules and strategies and even a little playing technique. We learned a lot about how and when to cheer, as well as how to be good sports about winning and losing.

This is bigger than most college football match-ups. There's a lot of history - both good and bad.

My college years were mostly spent at BYU, but I had a semester at the UofU right before my mission.

You can bet my cheering as a Cougar and as a Ute were equally zealous.

Now that I've graduated and actually live out of state, I can more-comfortably enjoy the game and cheer my little heart out. I want to see a good game. As long as it's a good game, I'm semi-ambivalent about who is the victor. Some of you may decry my apathy in that regard. That's your right, and you're entitled to an opinion.

I went to both schools and I love them both. Each has a rich tradition and history, and have fielded great squads on the gridiron. The past 24 games have been split right down the middle: 12-12. And often the games are extremely close, regularly with 4th-quarter comebacks and/or overtime. While ESPN has given BYU a 4-point spread over Utah, we all know that it's going to come down to a few big plays making the difference either way.

Whatever happens, I'm excited to see a good, close game tomorrow. Go BYUofU!

P.S. I hope none of my friends or family disown me after this post. I love you all! Also, while I appreciate comments, let's try to keep it civil...

The Boys of Fall

Today is a glorious day.

It's the first day of the college football season.

I love football. Doesn't matter if it's two-hand touch, flag, Pop Warner, high school, college, arena league, NFL, CFL, even lingerie league (though I haven't seen either of those last two). I just love the game.

Of all the organized leagues, I think I like watching college games the most.
These are highly-trained amateurs, most of whom are playing purely for love of the game.
Some are working hard and obtaining an otherwise out-of-reach college degree.
But they play with heart and it's always fun to watch.

If you aren't pumped yet, here are a couple nuggets to get your juices flowing:

Here's wishing the best of luck to the BYU Cougars, UofU Utes, and all the rest this season.
Let the games begin!

I Love a Good College Football Tailgate

It's been a while since I've attended a college football game. During my days at BYU, a Saturday afternoon in the Fall was best spent at LaVell Edwards Field. I miss those Saturday afternoons.

So when DC friends invited me to join them for the Penn State vs Indiana football game at FedEx Field (where the NFL's Washington Redskins play), I jumped at the chance.

We played cornhole/tailgate toss, barbequed, and chatted before the game. I met lots of new friends -- mostly Penn State fans.

Once inside, we got to see Penn State dominate an overwhelmed Indiana team.

And even though it was a lopsided game, the collegiate football experience provides such a fun atmosphere and more excitement than any of the NFL games I've attended recently.

Our group cheered on the Nittany Lions and applauded the futile, yet valiant, Hoosier efforts.

Redskins vs Cowboys

There are football games, and there are season-opening football games, and then there are season-opening football games against your rivals. Ryan totally hooked us up and got tickets for him, Michelle, Jackie, and me to see the Washington (DC) Redskins open their season against their sworn enemies, the Dallas Cowboys.

We battled some traffic and were able to get to FedEx Field a couple hours early to do some tailgating. Ryan brought a grill, which was used to cook up some burgers, hot dogs, chicken, and veggies. We all played cornhole and made some new friends from other camps, including a guy that was so high he couldn't hit the board or speak in full, coherent sentences. Ah, the characters you meet while tailgating...The game was fun to watch, even if there wasn't much scoring. Pretty much the Cowboys gave it away with terrible mistakes, such as fumbling with no time left just before the half (which DeAngelo Hall of the Redskins ran back for a touchdown), missing a 34-yd field goal, and a holding penalty on the last play of the game (which, sans penalty, would have resulted in the winning touchdown). Final score: Redskins over Cowboys 13-7.Since neither Jackie nor I actually had a horse in this race, we enjoyed the whole thing and got a kick out of fans' reactions. People watching at a football game is excellent. As we were leaving, we even got to see a mini-fight between a Redskins fan and a Cowboys fan, complete with beer splashing. Highly entertaining. My main goal was to have a fun time with Jackie and with our friends, and we definitely did that.

Thanksgiving in Utah

The holidays are about family, and that's why I love flying home to Utah for Thanksgiving. Spending time with the family is always a blast, and I can't imagine a better way to spend the week. Pie Night
As family traditions go, this is right up near the favorites. We've been hosting them for upwards of 15 years now, and Pie Night is sweeping across the nation, slowly but surely. We had a pretty good turnout this year, and plenty of pie to go around and fill our bellies. I think I had around 6 small slices. Personal favorite: banana cream. Football
One of Adam's buddies organized some turkey day football, so Adam, Pete, and I went to play. Early on, Pete and I were putting on a show with interceptions and catching long passes. The opposing team started focusing on us, so we couldn't get as many big plays, but that opened things up for some of our teammates. We were playing tackle, and I started to get reminders that my body in high school may have been a football body, but now I've got a runner/cyclist body. Hits started to take a toll, and I was hurting by the second game, but it was still fun. Adam started to tear it up in the second game, and he was finding the holes in the defense for some big gains and touchdown catches. By the end, I think we were all pretty tired and somewhat beat up, but it was a great way to start the day.Thanksgiving
Some of the Cravens came over and we all enjoyed a delicious Thanksgiving feast of Smythical proportions. Wow, I really like that word. Smythical. You may see it more in the future on my blog, though I'll try not to abuse it. Anyway, back to the task at hand. Between the Smyths and Cravens, I don't hesitate that my family can make some mighty fine vittles. My mom made the bird. Aunt Elaine made the mashed potatoes. My cousin Emily made creamy veggies. And I don't know exactly who made all the rest, but my tummy thanks all who were involved.Fantastic Mr. Fox
In the afternoon, some of us decided to go see a movie. This is a pretty standard event for us on Thanksgiving, and we try to pick a good one. Megan, Dave, and I joined the Cravens in seeing the modern adaptation of one of our beloved childhood books, "Fantastic Mr. Fox" by Roald Dahl. It's one of those that mom read to us in bed, so being reminded of the story gave me warm fuzzies (which is curious, since it's really not a very happy-go-lucky storyline). We all agreed that the stop-motion work was fantastic and showed real craftsmanship. As is typical of Wes Anderson movies, there was a great focus on the relationships between oddball characters, and the soundtrack was excellent, too. I loved it.Family Pictures
With the twin girls growing more every day, and Peter and I living on the East coast but home for the weekend, Grammy (my mom) scheduled a timeslot at JayLynn Studios to have some family pictures taken. First we have pics taken of all of us together, then some of Adam & Lindsey's family, then Peter & Jordyn, and finally some of my Mom & Dad. I'm just gonna go ahead and say what everyone's thinking: I have got an incredibly attractive family :) Family Fun Time
When it's cold outside and we can't really play trampoline games or run around playing sports, we turn to fun indoor activities. This time, we played Guitar Hero Metallica, went to Fat Catz for bowling, played Cranium, and watched the movie "Up!" Of course, during all of these we were talking and laughing and having a good time. Which really highlights what I'm most grateful for during the holidays, my family and getting to spend time with them. I love each of my family members and can't wait to see them again at Christmas!

The Stars at Night, Are Big and Bright...

For my big triathlons, I like to make it a completely different experience. I figure, if I'm going to do it, I might as well travel somewhere fun for the race, right? So for my second 1/2 Ironman (see my first here), I chose to race in a state that's famous for going big and being big. The great state of Texas.Thursday
The Longhorn 70.3 Austin 1/2 Ironman was on Sunday, so I flew into Austin on Thursday to have time to acclimate and see a little of the city. I didn't want to just fly in, race, and fly home. If I'm going to Texas, I want to see the place and have a well-rounded experience. After getting my rental car and heading to the hotel, I used the internet to find a small restaurant where I could get some brisket, which Texas is known to cook well.

Friday
Having seen some of Austin, I can say that I really like it. There is a lot going on, but it still maintains that small-town feel. First I went to the University of Texas at Austin to see the campus. I parked right by the football stadium, and it was an impressive sight. The rest of campus was also very nice, and students were helpful in giving me directions.The Texas State Capitol is an interesting yet beautiful building. Maybe my favorite feature is that it's made of "sunset red" granite, so it kind of has a pinkish hue. Not your typical government building, to be sure.I also wanted to see if all the hype about Texas high school football is legit, so I went to a nearby high school game that I found on the internet. Unfortunately, I picked a game between two private, Christian schools, so it was a small (though high scoring) affair. Maybe next time I come to Texas I'll see what I've been hearing about all these years.

Saturday
In order to race, you have to go to registration and attend a safety briefing. That was my main task on Saturday. Registration and sign-in were held at Luedecke Arena, which is where T2 (bike-to-run) and the finish line would be for the race, so it was good to be able to get my bearings and know how that portion would be.Sunday
Didn't get much sleep, but I was up super-early to drive down, park, and take the shuttle to Walter E. Long Park, which is where the swim in Decker Lake and T1 (swim-to-bike) were. The professionals started at 7:30, but my swim wave didn't start until 8:40. My swim went alright; nothing too eventful. Just settled in and churned through it.The bike course was challenging. Not because it was hilly or too hot or anything like that, but because the middle third of the course was pretty bumpy. That leaves the butt bones a bit raw. No bueno. However, I finished the bike on pace for my overall goal.The run was a different story. I was pacing myself alright early on, and lasted about 4 miles with a 10-min/mile (run 9, walk 1). Then the run course had its way with me. Both the fronts and backs of both legs cramped up with a vengeance. The next 9 miles were a battle of will.I jog-walked the whole way, making friends during the frequent walk breaks and taking in the scenery. Each time I'd jog again, I'd last maybe a 1/2 mile and then my legs would threaten to fully cramp and buckle under me, so I'd have to resume walking. I pushed the last mile in order to make my overall goal, and entered Luedecke Arena with just enough time to beat that goal by 10 seconds, for a total time of 6:29:48. And boy, was I happy to fire off my six-shooters in the air and be done!