Time to Occupy Detroit: A Win-Win Situation

Note: This post is meant to be humorous. Please don't take it too seriously.

The Occupy Wall Street (OWS) crowd is getting run out of cities left and right these days.
Seems major, thriving cities don't like shanty towns, no matter how noble their intentions.
There has to be a way to avoid the arrests, injuries, and pepper-sprayings.

So I had an idea.
How about shifting the movement to Occupy Detroit?

It makes sense if you think about it.

It's unlikely Detroit would kick you out. That's a major plus.

In fact, I bet OWS could get preferential treatment, including the use of abandoned homes and businesses in which to set up your society and be able to organize and run meetings in proper circumstances (instead of the lobby of the Deutche Bank building in NYC).

Just look at some of these available locations:

The David Whitney Building

Michigan Central Station

United Artists Theater

Also, the city of Detroit would benefit. A new influx of people would provide for opportunities to set up small business to sell necessary food and supplies. These would be passionate people who would likely vote for change and could get involved locally to improve the city.

So think about it, OWS.

Isn't it time to Occupy Detroit?

My Onion News: NBA Lockout Contributes to Family Togetherness

With baseball having ended and football primarily on the weekend, local area men are emerging from their man-caves and seeing the female counterparts and little people they once knew. In a joint study, social scientists from Harvard, Yale, and Pasadena City College have determined the rare phenomenon's cause to be the disruption of the standard overlapping of sports seasons, due to the overwhelming greed of the NBA owners and the NBA Players Association.

One local area woman was surprised and elated to be taken out to dinner at a local sit-down restaurant, instead of having to watch hoops on TV that evening and endure Bill Walton's inane blathering. Another family discovered a local park equipped with swing sets and a soft, green material called "grass".

In a related study, single females also noted an increase in the willingness of single males to "do something" and/or "hang out" on weeknights, with a slight statistically significant increase in the number of dates experienced by said single females.

Bravo, NBA! Thank you for your unorthodox and unexpected method of saving and creating families!

Note: I claim no affiliation to the Onion or any of its workers or affiliations. I just applaud their sense of humor and ability to make people (namely me) laugh.